Photo by Dylann Hendricks
We have all dealt with this emotion. Either it’s through arguing, miscommunication, or a mistake that we made. It’s the emotion where we can end up lashing out at someone that we care about, and not realize it until it's too late. This emotion is called Anger.
What is anger exactly?
Anger is the emotion of when you feel like something has done you wrong. While each individual is going to have their own interpretation of what anger means to them, it has one thing in common, it involves either a person or something. I ended up finding a quote on anger, and it’s interesting.
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you take time to think about this, it makes a good point. By becoming angry, we end up losing peace. And it’s rather difficult to get back once we allow anger to take over. While anger can be a good thing in certain situations, it can backfire on us.
Lashing out
One problem with anger is that it can make us lash out at a friend, or a loved one. Anger blocks our judgment, and it can cause problems down the road if it is allowed to continue.
It Affects Thoughts and Actions
Let me explain this a bit more. Anger does more than hurt people, it affects everything from our actions to our thought process. This can be dangerous, depending on the individual This can cause us to do things that can get us in trouble with not only family members but also with the law. Remember how I said that anger clouds judgment? It can cause you to act out.
So what are some of the causes of anger? There are a couple of reasons why anger can appear in our everyday lives. Some of these include:
Stress in our Everyday Lives
Depending on what kind of career you have, it can either be calm, or rather stressful. While stress can be a good thing, it can also become a problem when it starts to turn into anger. When you start having assignments, and tasks piling up at work, it can eventually turn to anger, and as a result, it can affect that person negatively.
Unfair treatment
This can happen anywhere. It can happen at work, at home, at the store. What does this all have in common with each other? They are treated unfairly. Perhaps they are being treated unfairly by their husband/wife. It’s also a possibility that there is unfair treatment at work going on. This eventually leads to anger.
Mental Health Disorders
The reality of this is that not everyone is mentally healthy. There is a possibility that their anger is caused due to a mental disorder. One of the common mental disorders out there is Bipolar Disorder, where your emotions can change within an instant. This can go from happy, to angry without any warning.
While anger is common in everyone, what is it that can create problems in the long run? One thing people fail to realize is that even though anger is an emotion, it can create problems down the road, not just physically but mentally. This can include:
Problems with Mental Health
When left unresolved, anger can eventually turn into anxiety, and depression, and affect emotional being. You would think while it affects mental health, it wouldn’t do any damage physically right? That is where things start to take an interesting turn.
Problems with Physical Health
This is where things start to get a bit terrifying. Over time if anger is allowed to continue, it can result in problems such as high blood pressure, our immune systems being compromised, problems with our cardiovascular system, headaches, and risks of having a stroke. Even though anger is an emotion, it can do damage to our bodies in the long run.
Strain on relationships
It's common for people to argue in a relationship. That’s just part of being in a relationship. But when it starts to happen daily, this is where it can take a toll. A few things can happen, either it can lead to a divorce, or it could cause a violent outcome where one harms the other.
While anger is common in our everyday lives, what is it that makes people hesitant about not wanting to fix their anger? There are a couple of reasons why:
Fear of confrontation
This seems to be common when trying to resolve anger. There is a possibility that the person may not speak up due to the fear of making the situation worse. So rather than confront the person, they keep silent. While there are multiple reasons why people do this, It mainly comes down to not wanting to upset them even further.
Family Background
This can also come from unresolved issues from family issues. While it is common to be angry with one another, letting it get to the point where it starts to strain the relationship between your family is not good. This can lead to either a fight or where it can cause division within the family.
Social Stigma
The problem with this is that it prevents us from talking about it with others. The common saying that I hear about anger is that you don’t talk about it. You suck it up and move on. Another version that I have heard, especially when you are male, is Man Up. We don’t talk about this, it makes you look weak when talking about anger. The problem with this is that over time, all the anger is going to do is build up. Once it reaches a certain point, it can either lead to destructive behaviors, or it can result in mental health problems.
One thing that people need to realize, is that anger does not go away when a person passes away. I learned this the hard way.
10 years ago, I had an uncle who was heavily into drugs and alcohol. Now keep in mind that he was doing this for most of his life. Especially when I was growing up, I would either see him drunk, or high. Sometimes both. I saw what it did to him, and it turned him into a monster. Every day he would have to have his fix. The family would often hide things since he would steal things to pay for his alcohol.
I was so angry with him. I hated the fact that he was doing so much damage. I hated the fact that he couldn’t kick his addiction and had to steal. I lost count, but he was in the hospital often due to his drug and alcohol abuse. Then one day, he went to the hospital, and he never came home. I remember the doctors at the hospital were telling us that was it. He didn’t have much time to live, and decided to put him on hospice.
My mom would tell me that he wanted to see me, Not once did I go to see him. The anger was so bad at the time. It had a firm grasp on me, I honestly did not want to forgive him, for all of the damage that he had done. He passed away a few days later. I thought that once he passed away, everything would go back to normal. That was not the case. It managed to seep into other areas of my life. Over the years, it did a lot of damage both physically and mentally.
It took me several years to address the anger and let go of it. At some point, you get tired of holding on to it. You get tired of the way that it constantly makes you feel. Once I let go of my anger, I felt a peace that I hadn’t felt in years.
So how can we solve this issue with anger? Well, there are a few things that we can do here to help out.
Talk to a professional
It would be best to talk to a professional so you can address the problem, and then from there, see how you can fix it. While it’s helpful to have friends that are willing to listen. It’s better to have professional help since they know what steps you can take to address those anger issues.
Communication is key
Communication is so important, especially when it comes to relationships. If there is an issue, be sure to address it. If you can at least address the issue, then you can both figure out how it started, and how to fix it.
Exercise
Yes, I'm putting this in here. The thing with working out is that you can actually burn off that anger by exercising. Plus it helps get your mind off of it once you get a good workout in. Angry? Try the gym, it can help with pushing yourself a bit at the gym. Though a word of warning. Always be sure that you are being safe when working out, and not attempting to do anything stupid.
Meditation
Another way to help reduce anger is meditation. I have tried this from time to time, and it does help out. It’s important to slow down and breathe. By letting yourself breathe, you can figure out what happened, and how the anger got that bad, and then from there address it. Sometimes you need to take a breather so you can see the problem, and then fix the issue.
While anger is something that will always be around us, we can always find ways to address it, and then fix the problem. That’s all I have for now.